me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
me driving: say your prayers
thereare4sharks replied to your chat “customer: yes i’d like to place a classified ad me: okay what kind of…”
These…are real conversations you’re having? …..people?
customer service is just super fun
gf: hey come over ;)
me: i cant im in bonnie tyler’s music video for total eclipse of the heart
gf: my parents aren’t home